“CATS LOVE THEM.”
Well, enough said. If cats love them, then my cats must certainly have them. I’m not the kind of person who lets $12.99 stand between my cats and love, nor am I the kind of person who would hold the sacrifice of two packs of cigarettes and a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pibb against them, especially when I can whine until Shawn buys them for me. The mystery, of course, is what is so darn lovable about a 20” X 20” square of combed polyester fibers that looks suspiciously like the air conditioner filters we buy at Home Depot for $2.00. Frankly, I don’t see the appeal. The fact they are “electrostatically charged” is a rather dubious enticement. Apparently, they “trap hair, dust, and dander,” which would explain how they “attract cats like a magnet.” After all, besides indifference, what else is a cat made of?
When we got the Padds out of the boxx, I was expecting the cats to fly helplessly through the air toward them, like iron filings to one of those U shaped magnets you never see outside cartoons and 5th grade science class. This was not the case. Tuesday had to be retrieved from inside the toilet bowl and introduced to the Padd without subtlety. She shrank from it as though it were on fire, and fled to another haunt of hers, on top of the dog crates, where she dangled her paws down through the bars to tease the dogs. It became immediately apparent that the advertised luxuriousness of a Purr Padd was wasted on this toilet dweller, so I went in search of Wednesday.
Being of a certain age, Wednesday’s tastes are naturally more refined. She eschews the toilet entirely, and instead hangs out in the bathtub with her head under the leaky faucet. Now that’s class. The problem, however, was that at that moment Wednesday was comfortably settled under the bed, and could not be lured out. So much for the Padd’s magnetic trapping ability. I placed the Padd where she was likely to stumble over it on her next trip to her food dish and checked back periodically, eager to see her sprawled on it and purring helplessly. That was three days ago, and so far it hasn’t happened. She was, however, sprawled on a shoe very near the Padd and purring helplessly, so I’m confident that Purr Padd love can’t be very far off. Tuesday has also resisted the Padd’s magnetism, even when it’s been draped on top of her.
In short, the Mysterious Purr Padd remains a $13.00 mystery to me, and especially to the cats, who seem hell-bent on making a liar out of the happy kitty on the bright pink Purr Padd box. I bet you’d never catch that cat in the toilet. By the way; Shawn, if you’re reading this, I’m out of cigarettes and Mr. Pibb.
